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does not contain juice


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broadcast television advertisements

I like to watch a digital sub-channel of my local ABC station which perpetually runs films from the 70s and 80s, presumably because they are cheap to license or copyrights have run out.

The films are fine, more tolerable than modern programs, but the advertising is awful. I decided to catalog all of the advertisements I see while I watch a movie this afternoon:

  1. Death of Osama bin Laden commemorative coin
  2. Alex Trebek’s guaranteed-acceptance life insurance for sick people 50-85 with no physical exam
  3. Incontinence supplies billed to Medicaid and delivered discreetly
  4. An $80 girdle that reduces something called “muffin top”
  5. Cash settlements for asbestos exposure
  6. Cash settlements for men who grew breasts from Risperdal
  7. Cash settlements for those who experienced complications from robotic surgery
  8. Foreclosure protection service
  9. Pay-as-you-go cell phone plans for seniors
  10. Late-stage cancer treatment
  11. A book about preventing insect and rodent infestation in your house using products you already have
  12. Home-loan refinancing

If this is indicative of what most people need, I am disappoint.

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